The most recent object of my romantic attention and affection has now taken a place in my life as just a friend. I dove into this moment, this occasion, this dance with vulnerability and let myself learn how to trust myself with someone else. It felt good... Knowing that I, with my many reasons to be bitter and angry and cold, can actually learn to care freely about another human being in a way that requires me to open my heart and mind. I am both joyful and appreciative when I meditate on my most recent relationship and all of the previous romantic interactions I've had; for I now see them in a completely new light. As I approach 25, I am learning through so many different avenues, more and more about myself and what actually brings me satisfaction. Specifically, I am learning about what I actually need from others in my relationships and what I expect. It is a blessing to have a better sense of clarity moving forward especially considering the many emotional complexities that arise in relationships. I've spent so much time dating this person and that person without even have an idea as to what my heart desired and/or what I truly deserved. How many times have we entered into relationships because on the surface we see great things and great potential and allow our vision to become a little narrow? How many times have we become infatuated by what we see that we forget to ask ourselves what is that we're not seeing? What is it that this man or woman provides me and what needs do I have that are actually not being me and how, being very honest with ourselves, does that make me feel?
Often times when our relationships end, there's pain. There's an idea that somehow we've lost something. What if in fact we're actually gaining something by the loss of their physical, romantic presence: clarity, a deeper understanding of our needs, a new perspective on who we are and who we want to be in our relationships? I am absolutely sure that one of the primary reasons many of us find ourselves in a string of "failed relationships" is that we see them as failures instead of successes and new opportunities.
If you have been or are currently in a relationship with someone who actually isn't the person with whom you're supposed to be, then you know the emotional turmoil and frustration that brings between intermittent periods of happiness. Breaking up may actually be your opportunity to break out of the cycle that is created when we date the wrong people because we're not certain of what we're actually looking for or clear about how our previous relationships have manipulated our perceptions, our behaviors, our vision.
Breaking out of that cycle is just another opportunity to learn more about yourself on a deeper level and propel yourself forward with a new perspective that enables you to actually return to the world with a higher consciousness of what you're actually looking for and because you haven't found it yet, be excited about the fact that it's still out there.