Wisdom

Let Us Pretend

When did you stop creating? Was it a series of small events or did it happen with one experience that was so remarkably painful that it stopped you immediately?

Was it a teacher who told you had too much rhythm? Did a coach or mentor tell you to do it their way? Was it an overprotective parent who wanted to shield you from the embarrassment of certain failure at some point even if it was on the path toward your well-deserved success? Find the moment. The sad truth, is that it doesn't take much effort.

Whether it was yesterday or twenty years ago, the voice that broke the sound of our most joyful moment to simply say "no" or "don't do that" can be heard forever. Find the moment...

Now, reactivate your imagination and pretend it never happened. 

What would you do? Who would you be? Where would you live? Who would you love?

Jump! 

Dont' Become A Played Out Song

If you keep asking the same question, it's not because you don't know the answer. It's because you don't care that you already know the answer. 

You're seeking out answers and explanations. You call the best friend, your mom, or your mentor. You bring it up again to your therapist only to hear the same answer, the same wisdom you've heard over and over again. Yet, you haven't accepted the answer as final. You spend more time trying to disprove the truth than you do trying to figure out how to change direction now that you have found it. You'll keep this up until you become too tired or worse, everyone you keep going to for answers stops responding. 

Have you ever listened to the same song so many times that it now annoys you when you hear it? It's because it was a fun song that fit a moment that passed long ago. That's what you are becoming. A source of questions that were answered long ago in multiple ways and they won't be put to rest because you are afraid to move on. 

Accept. What. You. Know. 

Quit Blaming Time

You talk about the dreams you have of writing a New York Times best seller. You hear someone speak in another language and its beauty reminds you of your desire to learn something other than your native tongue. Perhaps you finally want to get back into the dating scene after recovering from a relationship that ended. Whatever the desire is, you have it and yet you do nothing about it. Why is that?

If someone asks you, you'll say "I don't have the time." That's easy, isn't it? We all share the reality that every day we are given is made up of the same twenty four-hours. The day ends and too often it's hard for us to clear our heads to see the progress we've made even if in the smallest way. Blame time and people understand. 

What we will inevitably struggle to understand is the day we wake up and realize that the end is near and we spent much of our time blaming time for why we didn't obtain the lives we wanted. Our legacy will be limited by the safe actions we took. Our dreams will whither away, evidence of the risks we were too afraid to take and we will settle for what we have and conclude that life has been good enough. 

Couldn't life be better than "good enough" if we found the courage to reject the idea that time is our enemy and began looking at it as a true friend.  Time gives us a chance to say sorry. It gives us an opportunity to change direction, to start over. It is probably the best friend we have, more forgiving and encouraging than we could ever imagine. 

Thursday 6.05.14... How To Learn From Everyone

“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ― Pema Chödrön

Each day we are given is another opportunity to get it right, a chance to learn something about the ways of this world and who we are in it. We don't learn by closing our minds and our heart but by pushing ourselves to always be open to the infinite possibilities of life, however they may come.

If we seek to deepen our understanding, we must be willing to learn something from every source, no matter how small and simple the lesson may seem. It is not enough to sit at the feet of those we admire and trust. We have to be open to engaging with the stranger, the taxi driver, the small child who is likely more creative than we are because their perception has not yet been tainted and yes, even the ones who annoy us.

I have discovered that when I am annoyed by someone or something, it is not an opportunity for me to run, but a moment for me to pause and simply ask, "what are you here to show me about myself?"

Wednesday, 6/4/14...Deepen Your Relationships By Being Honest

“Lying is, almost by definition, a refusal to cooperate with others. It condenses a lack of trust and trustworthiness into a single act. It is both a failure of understanding and an unwillingness to be understood. To lie is to recoil from relationship.”-Sam Harris

We're all guilty of it. No matter who you are, even when it has been simple and innocent, you have lied. We lie for many reasons, some of which are scientific. Researchers recently discovered that we are less likely to demonstrate integrity as the day progresses because our self-control diminishes over time. Whatever the reason (guilt, shame, or fear), when we lie we miss an opportunity to deepen our relationships with ourselves and others.

For myself, I know that there have been times when I have lied because I was afraid of how my truth might impact someone else. Though I now understand that in many ways, I lied because I was afraid of how others might see me. At this stage in my life, I am striving to be myself in every relationship and that requires me to lean into the discomfort of my truth as opposed to running away from it.

If we want more authentic relationships, we have to be willing to tell the truth not "even when", but especially when it is difficult.

Tuesday, 6/3/14... "Lose The Meaningless to Gain The Meaningful"

"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."-Maya Angelou 

As you continue on your journey of personal development where you begin to live a life aligned with your calling and your unique purpose, you may discover that there are some people who no longer belong in your space. Of course, watching our circles shrink can feel daunting and it has the potential to make us feel lonely but we must protect our energy and time if we want to enrich our lives by strengthening our relationships with people who pour into us the way we pour into them.

Do not be afraid to "lose" meaningless connections in order to create more meaningful experiences in this life.