love

It Will Hurt...

The band aid may pull out a few hairs when you tear it off. 

There will be sleepless nights when you begin planning your exit strategy from that dead-end job. 

At times you will experience doubt and a sense of loneliness when you decide to end the relationships that bring you more misery and heartache than joy and safety. 

You will cry when you stop begging them to stay and finally watch them walk away. 

The anxiety you will feel when you have no choice but to ask for help will be real. 

You will feel abandoned by a few familiar faces when you finally begin living the life you were created to live and not the life someone told you was good enough. 

It will hurt.

So why do it?

Do it because you deserve it. Do it because after the sting, the sleepless nights, the doubt, the loneliness, the tears, the anxiety, and the abandonment, YOU WILL STILL BE ALIVE. 

Dont' Become A Played Out Song

If you keep asking the same question, it's not because you don't know the answer. It's because you don't care that you already know the answer. 

You're seeking out answers and explanations. You call the best friend, your mom, or your mentor. You bring it up again to your therapist only to hear the same answer, the same wisdom you've heard over and over again. Yet, you haven't accepted the answer as final. You spend more time trying to disprove the truth than you do trying to figure out how to change direction now that you have found it. You'll keep this up until you become too tired or worse, everyone you keep going to for answers stops responding. 

Have you ever listened to the same song so many times that it now annoys you when you hear it? It's because it was a fun song that fit a moment that passed long ago. That's what you are becoming. A source of questions that were answered long ago in multiple ways and they won't be put to rest because you are afraid to move on. 

Accept. What. You. Know. 

The Sheep Count Me...

The sun was up before I laid down. It was supposed to be a quick nap. Following an afternoon of heavy, sinful food and wine, a soft pillow seemed like the perfect place to chew on thoughts about what the evening might promise. The hours passed us by. The cell phone, face down on the nightstand, vibrated gently. Messages piled up. Posts and pictures accumulated in the far reaching arms of lives only known through the glow of a screen. This and that friend posing in aclub or on a beach in this or that city, country, village and town. None of it compared to the sight of the moon's kiss upon an arm sprawled across my chest, its owner inhaling and exhaling to the beat of silent drum. I was at peace.

Sometimes a weekend filled with stillness and silence is the most fun the soul can have.